Self-care: A timeless secret for a happier existence

Five secrets to make yourself 'your' first priority  

Yesterday was 24/7, a term we use day in and out, so as to reflect our love, grit and dedication towards an individual, a relationship, a goal or task, an organisation or an aspiration. Hence, International Self-Care Day is a worldwide campaign held annually on July 24th(7/24) as a reminder that benefits of self-care are experienced 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

In this blog, I have made an honest attempt to address the need and relevance of Self-care in our daily life, how it can be achieved, how we can use our ‘Me-Time’ in a conscious and contended manner, and which are the five ways that we can make ourselves, the first priority.
















Here are few examples of individuals from all walks of life, practising the art of Self-care, 24/7.

1. 5:30 am on a Monday morning: Ritesh, a 40-year old businessman, is out for a run on Worli Sea Face, with his eight buddies, who are all fitness freaks.
2. 3:00 pm - Tuesday: Kavita, a septuagenarian, awaits the arrival of her students, to whom she imparts lessons in Hindustani music.
3. 9:00 am - Wednesday: The 40-year old Reena drops her son at school, and heads to a local orphanage, to read books to children.
4. 4:00 pm - Thursday: 53-year old Radhika leaves for her art class, to learn to make wall murals. 
5. 11 am – Friday: Neeta, the 32-year old homemaker, settles down with her morning cuppa, and the latest book penned by her favourite author.
6. 8 am - Saturday: Sarita, 28-year old teacher and mother of two, joins her gang for a girls-only weekend getaway to Lavassa.
7. 7 pm - Sunday: Vyom, a 35-year old IT professional, is adding final touches to his signature pasta. Cooking is his favourite pastime. 

These seven individuals, cut across the barriers of age, conventions and backgrounds, and have myriad aspirations and needs, yet are bound by one aspect –24 hours of the day.

As individuals, we can choose how to navigate the paths of life, chisel our destinies, and make the most between the first cry and the last sigh. We can spend hours in discussions and debates, yet disagree or not agree, twiddle thumbs on the mobile, or munch potato chips on the couch facing the TV.

Bound by familial and social customs, we make enormous effort to take care of our loved ones, tend to the elderly and sick, or spend quality time with our children. We stay in touch with our friends and family, over occasional calls and visits.

However, we often overlook someone … Ourselves.

Self-care: Well-being begins within

In today’s fast-paced life, we are drowned in the cacophony of buzzing cell phones, blaring idiot boxes, an agitated media and an all-pervasive social media. Amidst this hubbub, can we consider to slow down, pause, reflect and rejuvenate, before we move to the next day and task.

Self-care is a priority today, and is no longer an option, an act of self-interest or a luxury. We must focus not only on the physical aspects of health, exercise and fitness, but also ensure mental and emotional well-being. Lack of sleep, hectic schedules, and the drive to be seen as happy and successful, even if you aren’t, could prove detrimental in the long run, and we may end up in puddles of anxiety and depression.

In a recent poll that I ran on Survey Monkey, I sought opinions from few friends about the need for self-care, the best use of ‘Me-time’, along with few other issues related to gender bias and prejudice.

Most people agreed that self-care is hugely gratifying, lowers stress, and could even help us understand the purpose of our existence. However, it is more daunting for women to find the time, as they juggle between responsibilities at home and few at work too. Moreover, those who manage to break the mould, are often misjudged or condemned.

Let us now look at five ways in which we can make a conscious attempt to practise self-care.

• 'Me-time’ – Do we use it or spend it? 

‘Me-time’ - something that gives us joy, peace, a little space away from everyone and everything, and an opportunity to delve deep within.

Seema moves heaven and earth to wrap up work early at office, to attend the wedding reception of her relative or reach home in time to cook dinner for guests arriving from her home town. But she finds herself shrouded by guilt, as if she is taking something away from her family or denying someone their share of attention, if she wants to join a fitness programme held in her neighbourhood.

Though many of us enjoy spending our Me-time with family, and friends, it need not be the same for all. This time could also be used to improve self-focus, and retrospect and relax.

Let us look at many popular and few unconventional means to use ‘Me-time’.

Exercise and fitness are the passport to a happy and healthy life, and that explains the mushrooming of yoga and wellness centres, Zumba and aerobic classes, and the growing cult of runners.

Hobbies such as reading or writing, performing arts or fine arts, or gardening, are fruitful pastimes, nurturing confidence and self-worth, bringing in recognition and glory, and enhancing visibility. Pursuits such as baking, art and craft or reselling, may even prove to be an alternative source of income.

Learning methods to practise Vipassana, transcendental meditation, or Kriya yoga can help one surrender their being to a higher authority, listen to commands and learn to hear their inner voice. Alternative healing therapies such as Reiki, Pranic healing, or acupuncture enable the experts to channelise their energies towards a nobler cause and contribute to social well-being.

Seeking a sabbatical from work to write a book, do an online course on artificial intelligence or robotics, or do nothing but sleep, travel, eat and read, could be extremely rewarding.

Travel offers the much-needed break from routine, and it need not always be with family and friends. Solo travel is a fast-catching fad, where you take off on your own, to explore the world within and beyond.

One can also use this opportunity to enhance and enrich their knowledge on world affairs, read newspapers and e-papers, listen to interesting podcasts, or watch interesting programmes on TV. 

• Engage in group activities: Be a motivator and get motivated

No event, however small or large in scale, is complete today without a groupfie, a moment that captures the charm of group members, both in their individual form and the group element. So, if you are fond of running, trying out new cuisines, reading and sharing lines from the latest book you read, what is a better way to pursue these activities, than forming a group of like-minded individuals, sharing the same passion.

Make it a point to meet regularly, be it daily, weekly or fortnightly, and carry on with the mission. Motivation then becomes reciprocal, where on a day when you don’t feel like running, your buddy is at the door in her gear, bucking you up. And you return the favour when the opportunity strikes.

• Clear the path: Defy the stereotypes

There are endless gateways and getaways to realise our true potential and goals, if only we learn to shed inhibitions, cast off aspersions and move away from prejudice and pre-conceived notions.

A man who gives up his hi-flier job to be a home-maker, or a woman who leaves her children behind, for her onsite project, are the most trolled these days. A couple that refuses to babysit grandkids, as they wish to take a world tour, may be labelled as self-centric.

Can we define or identify this voice that passes judgments, or creates this bias? Is it louder or more pertinent than our inner calling? Should it really matter, how we are perceived or branded, when we are the best judges for ourselves?

So, the next time you hear someone offering unsolicited thoughts or free advice on how you should rank your priorities, feel free to turn a deaf ear and spread your wings far and wide. 

• Say a NO: Be emphatic and assertive

Kiya would wait eagerly for the weekend to catch up with her favourite books, but every Saturday morning, her aunt would call her and ask her to join them for a family outing.

Amar loved to go for treks especially in the monsoons, but each time he would make a plan with his group of trekkers, there would be some last-minute presentations at work.

So, more often than not, we are in a dilemma whether to decline the offer, or go ahead and oblige, even half-heartedly. Do we realise, the more we give in, the more we are sought.

Self-care is also about being assertive and learning to say an emphatic NO. It may come as a surprise or shock to people around, as they are habituated to seeing heads nod in affirmations; but slow and steady wins the race, and persistence is key.

• Accountability is a choice, not a norm

Anila wanted to fly to Greece on her solo trip, a long-cherished vacation she had promised herself since she started working. Yet, she needed permission from her spouse to use the funds she had painstakingly saved over years, and had to justify her choice of going solo to her entire extended community and clan. Of course, there was concern and anxiety looming large, but weren’t there few with raised brows, full of smirk or envy?

Pranay wanted to have his start-up consultancy firm, and decided to quit his job and get into fulltime business. After struggling for nearly six months, he did not see much success coming his way. One day, he called it quits and started looking for new job offers. The other day, when he attended a family function, he found himself being surrounded by well-meaning relatives, all hinting at his failed venture, some of whom lent their pearls of wisdom, and few who shook their heads, offering pity.

Agreed, the world is perpetually twisted in the shape of a question mark, but do we need to provide that full stop all the time?  Let us accept that it is ok to err, gather your wits and move forward. As long as we remain accountable to ourselves and the power guiding the Universe, the world can wait for its answers.

The time is now!

So, go for it. Self-care is not an objective that can be procrastinated, as it is something we should be practising, right from yesterday (pun intended).

Mental and emotional health is as important as physical health parameters. A long span of neglect can have dire consequences, manifesting in the form of depression, breakdowns, and crisis situations. Hence, charity begins at home, and true contentment starts and lies within.

The moment is here and now, and unless you clasp it, it will be gone never to return.

The choice lies with us and only us!!!